I'll pay $1,000 a month for first page google, 4 keyword

Hello All I will pay $1,000 a month, to get my site on the first few results (first page) of google for my selected key word. And keep me there month after month. So for each month you keep me on the first few results in google, I will pay $1,000. The first months will be in escrow and will be released as soon as its achieved, and I will continue to make $1,000 payments (paypal) each month that i stay on the first page within the first few results. I will pay $1,000 for each keyword that you accomplish this for.. the keywords i need are: "make money online" "work at home" "work from home" "easy money" "how to make money" "make money fast" "money online" I know they are hard key words... each key word is worth $1,000 USD a month and you can bid on only one if you want, pick the one and let me know. I dont expect anyone to be able to do them all. You also must be able to work with me and tell me what you need me to do to my site in order to optimize the key word we are working with. So you must be a pro at SEO , link building, meta tag's and descriptions. Let's see how this goes.. lol thanks all You must be very qualified and convincing for me to pay you $12,000 a year!! please.. lol